So it's been a loooong while since I've actually written in this thing. Here goes it:

Life's kinda very confusing right now for me. I am slowly realizing a few things (oivey) and it's not such a good thing, in my opinion anyway. I've been screwing a lot of things up, and I'm not sure why. I only have a few really good friends and I seem to be blowing them off a lot and they deserve better. I have been concentrating on my family a lot. I just feel that for some reason, I need to be doing it, so I am. I'm glad I am, but at the same time, I wish I could just go out with friends at times. I know my parents are perfectly fine with me going out, but I don't want to leave them.

On to other things. As you have probably guessed, my personal life is kindof, well, sucky right now. I'm stuck on something/one right now and am trying so very hard to get through it, but it just doesn't seem to be working. It makes things very hard whenever I try talking to them and just being their friend. I would love nothing more than to be able to just get through this, but if I haven't yet, well, it's gonna be a long, rough battle. So I appologize if I seem distant and confused, that's generally my natural state, but right now, it's more than that.

Next topic of conversation. Christmas is but days away . YAYNESS!!! This really is my absolute favorite time of year, for multiple reasons. For one, it's beautiful. No there isn't any snow on the ground, but still, the frost on the grass and trees right at sunrise is breathtaking. There's nothing like sitting in front of a fire (in a woodburning stove ) relaxing with the ones you love (mom, dad, Manda, Rolex , and usually DJ, haha). You can't beat family. That's another reason why this time of year rocks. Yeah you see family throughout the year, maybe at a family reunion or birthday, but there's something about Christmas that just makes everything perfect. Everybody comes together and you can't help but be so happy. My priest constantly says that we should concentrate on the fact that it is the birth of Christ we should be celebrating, and leave all the decorations, gifts, and parties behind. But to me, everybody celebrates in different ways. I think that one of the best ways to celebrate is by giving of yourself to those you love. This includes presents, food, support, love, everything and anything . A simple smile and hug could be all you need . And I think that decorations are a must. It's not Christmas without thousands of lights, colored, white, twinkly, anything, . It's kinda like a beacon saying "Yo! We're happy and we're not afraid to show it! You should be happy too! "

We're almost done decorating our tree and with wrappin (wow, I don't think I've wrapped so much). Tomorrow Amanda and I are fulfilling our duties as the Christmas Fairies (inquire within should you need assistance, we do decorating, cooking, wrapping, etc, but not windows ). Friday we're going down to Jackson to visit my dad's side of the family. Then Christmas day my uncle and grandma are visiting (they're traveling to the different homes all day), then we visit my aunt in dublin that night. Then next Wednesday we visit my grandma in Dayton . My Uncle Mike in Iraq hopefully will be home soon. He was supposed to be home Monday, but is in Kuwait right now (his flight was delayed/ran into other problems along the way). He's only home for a week and a half now, then heads back to Iraq. He will hopefully be home February or March YAY!!!!!!! Then he gets deployed again, but he'll be back on a ship . He'll be the Ex. O. of the USS COLE! It shall be fun.

Ok, well, it's late and this Christmas Fairy needs her sleep cuz tomorrow is going to be a long day Night my peeps, and have a

VERY

MERRY

CHRISTMAS &

HhAaPpPpYy

NnEeWw

YyEeAaRr!!!!!!!!